no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize