She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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