dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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