lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize