I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize