Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm passing your future prison.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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