we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's shark week go big or go home
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
