yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
