no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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