but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
