oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
