none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It was confusing and full of hummus
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
