Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
