so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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