Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
