You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
