We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
