Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
