weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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