are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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