I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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