I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
