No stitches, just platelets and will power
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
its liver damage thursday
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
