Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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