she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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