you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
