My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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