I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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