Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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