why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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