just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
