He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
