nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Someone shit on the floor
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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