Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
