His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
