HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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