shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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