I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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