I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
