On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
