Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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