she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
