Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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