whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
