I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
