so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
