return my video game
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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