Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
