Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize