He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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