Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
