Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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