Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
