No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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