I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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