It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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