Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
