If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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