I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
