We won't sleep together?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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