According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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