dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
